Thursday, December 02, 2004

If You're Stupid And You Know It

So I have enjoyed torturing myself by reading bitter liberal editorials and checking hippie Hollywood celebrity websites and the like since the election - hey, it's entertainment, and a great way to avoid studying for finals.

Now, I'm sure that we all heard about the alleged voter suppression tactics employed by conservatives to keep black voters from the polls on election day (most infamously in Milwaukee). I never got an actual look at the flyer that was purportedly circulated in those communities until the lefties started crying foul after Kerry and the Dems were raped by the Repubs on election night, and copies of it made their way online. I have excerpted some of the language that flyer allegedly contained:

"If you've ever been found guilty of anything, even a traffic violation, you can't vote in the presidential election."
"If anybody in your family has ever been found guilty of anything you can't vote in the presidential election."
"If you violate any of these laws, you can get ten years in prison and your children will get taken away from you."

Now, I know this is a sensitive subject for many civil rights goobers and whatnot, but may I offer that if someone is stupid enough to believe this flyer, his vote SHOULD be suppressed?

I know there is a Supreme Court case outlawing reading tests as a voter qualification tool. And I know that this alleged suppression tactic harkens back to the 60s and the unacceptable acts that were perpetrated on blacks during that time. But if you can look at a flyer laying in the gutter of your 'hood that says what the flyer I have seen online says and think it is an official US government document, I really don't think your voice ought to be heard. I would prefer you get a job at a factory someplace (here or overseas - I'd be fine with exporting our stupids to Guatemala or somewhere) and make me and all my smart friends shoes or Coke cans or whatever, and just keep your interactions with the intellectually normal populace to a minimum, thank you. I'd even go so far as to say that perhaps the election laws should be altered so that whoever stupid people vote for is the loser - clearly, they are not equipped to choose appropriately, and so the rest of us who are capable of simultaneous thought and motion should take their opinions as indication of what NOT to do.

A friend pointed out to me the other day that the stupidest people tend to be Democrats; I think he's right. I pointed out to him that the smartest people also tend to be Democrats; the party has a lock on both Manhattan and Compton. So, my opinion is clearly disproportionately anti-Democrat. Therefore, I'd like to clarify that I do not consider myself to be a Republican; I think righties who bomb abortion clinics should be on the same boat to Guatemala. I just think that politics is inherently somewhat like evolution, and if you're so stupid as to select yourself out of the process, then we're all the better for it. Now, if we could just figure out how to make stupid people stop reproducing . . .